Total Lunar Eclipse Tonight! *Spoiler Alert* It's NOT the Gays Fault... this time

Tonight, Wednesday February 20th, there will be a Total Lunar Eclipse over the US. Folks in Israel can see it Thursday morning Feb 21st.

Zmanim:
If you live in the EST zone the total eclipse of the Moon begins Wednesday night, February 20th, at 10:01PM and ends at 10:51PM. (For those who want to watch the whole show the partial eclipse will begin at 8:43PM and will end at 12:09AM).

In you live in Israel (Greenwich Mean Time +2, if I'm not mistaken) the total eclipse begins Thursday morning, February 21st, at 5:01AM and ends at 5:51AM. (The partial eclipse begins over Israel at 3:43AM and the eclipse will finish at 7:09AM).

All times are care of NASA Eclipse Home Page.
---
You should go out and enjoy the light show. BUT! Be warned...

According to Gemara Sukka (29a), "[t]he time of an eclipse is a bad sign for the whole entire world." And specifically, a lunar eclipse is a bad omen for the Jews. Why? Because we follow the lunar calendar, natch.

If you are wondering what could possibly make this awe-inspiring phenomenon occur keep reading. The Gemara (Talmud) explains that there are four reasons for why an eclipse a solar eclipse happens. Reason number three? Gay male sex. Apparently "Adam and Steve" are both a threat to the institution of marriage, and they can move the heavens! Luckily, this is only a lunar eclipse and was likely caused by people cutting down good trees (lunar eclipse reason #4).

Holy readers, do not worry! The Gemara gives you an out. Of course, the eclipse is a bad omen from God, and of course it was quite possibly the fault of the gays people raising forbidden animals in Israel (lunar eclipse reason #3), but as long as you are following God's commandments you are off the hook. (Close one!)

Update: Commenter "p_almonius" correctly pointed out that gay people are the cause of solar eclipses not lunar ones. I regret the error.