Back in August I wrote about how I felt guilty when my office would order kosher food for me - a closeted atheist. The issue hadn't come up again until last week.
A member of our "executive board" wanted to meet and spend a little time with the staff. A day was set for this head honcho to come and talk to us over lunch. As the date approached a member of our administrative team asked me to pick out a kosher lunch for her to order.
Meanwhile, since August I have also been feeling much more comfortable with not adhering to halacha. For the most part this happens on Shabbos. (Turn on the baby mobile here, check email there, yadda, yadda, yadda.) But opportunities to violate Shabbos come around every seven days. If you are an orthodox Jew in the habit of keeping kosher you don't often find yourself in situations where you are presented with treif. (I suppose there is non-kosher food everywhere but that's why I say "orthodox Jew in the habit of keeping kosher". If you are in the habit you kind of put up blinders and don't even see the other food. At least I don't. But I digress.)
So here was this situation where I was a) asked to make special arrangements and b) didn't feel the need for special arrangements. I told our administrative professional that if I ordered food I would take care of it with my company credit card. In the end I didn't order any food.
The day of the lunch came. That morning I thought briefly about packing a lunch as I was getting ready for the day. (Very briefly. Like the amount of time you spend remembering if you locked the front door.) I considered just eating at work but then thought maybe I should pack a lunch. In the end, in my rush I didn't pack a lunch.
By now it's obvious where all this is heading. I ate one of the catered sandwiches our office provided from a non-kosher restaurant. I want to say that lunch that day was spontaneous but I don't think it really was. I think a fair way to describe it is that I was aware of a possible course of action in my mind ahead of time but I didn't mentally commit to it in any serious way. I just let it happen.
I don't want my dropping of religious practices to be some kind of major statement. I don't need to get up on a pedestal in the middle of Times Square raise a cheeseburger above my head and declare "I am not keeping kosher!" [CHOMP!] I am certain in my beliefs and I don't need to make any drama around it. In fact, if I made my behavior change into some kind of dramatic event I would question my motives. Just blogging about it now feels like I'm making a bigger deal about it than I want to.
Prior to the lunch it had occurred to me that this particular event would be a good first time to eat with the rest of the office. Mainly because most attention would be draw to the big-name exec who graced us with his presence. (No irony intended. He's an honest-to-goodness big shot.)
When lunch did come I noticed a lot of meat sandwiches but I looked for and found tuna. I took some cheese salad, grabbed some chips and a drink. Nothing non-kosher per se but there were onions in the tuna and who knows what kind of cheese was in the salad. I figured my choices were in the range of what frum people who "eat-out" eat.
Only one person mentioned to me that they noticed my change in menu: my Reform co-worker YR. He made a small scene actually but I ignored him. I was trying to assimilat- er, "blend-in".
12 comments:
It's a slippery slope... but oh, so delicious! I started off eating just veggie out, then sushi, etc., etc. The nice thing is (a) I can eat stuff my non-Orthodox friends cook and (b) I get to sample such interesting cuisines that I was not brought up on! Not to mention the convenience factor, which is major.
Bon appetit!
Reality check:Your wife.
YR, if you're reading this, what's the problem? There's a shortage of Reform mashgiachs? What Lubab eats is none of anyone's business.
Okay, so maybe he isn't reading this, but if he is he's just been told off.
Ichabod Chrain
What I have found is that while I don't care about eating kosher, I still have some things hard wired into me that I don't cross. For example, I won't eat ham, shellfish or cheese on my deli sandwich.
Like what you did, i always ate things at company events that "seem" kosher to the non-Jews who don't really know the specifics.
When I go to a regular, non-kosher place with non-jewish co-workers, I just order something like the salmon which the others interpret as keeping kosher. Since they think that is kosher, it saves you from explaining anything about your situation.
If your NonJewish coworkers ever find out the truth it's not going to look good for you. Better that the Jews should find out.
Almost never a problem in Israel! (At least its not obvious to most people)
DRJ - yeah, I live in Israel too and that is one of the great things here. I eat at any restaurant with any hashgacha and I have tons of places to choose from.
I'd also eat in the real trief places, but since it is so easy to get kosher, I figure it s not worth rocking the boat.
But when i was back in the US for work last month, I went back to my old ways of eating wherever I wanted.
I would be surprised if your non-Jewish colleagues were to notice much of a difference. It's my impression from observing Jewish friends (and asking them about food) that it's fairly common to keep "sort of kosher" (avoiding obviously non-kosher items like shrimp and bacon cheeseburgers, but not always insisting on kosher preparation). Random people who are aware of the rules would probably just view you as not quite as strictly observant as some Jewish people are.
I think Moses Mendelssohn said “Be a Jew at home but a man in the street.” Most of his children baptized. I suppose the truth of Christianity was too undeniable
I have also loosened up on my kashrus practices a bit and my co-workers have definitely taken notice. But I also work in a very small office where we really know each other. But the other day when I ordered sushi from a non-kosher place with co-workers, there were a few comments made. Luckily, they don't care, they are just curious.
My experience at work is that my supervisor doesn't keep kosher but her brother is sort of a BT who does, so she knows a lot of the ins and outs.
Occasionally the group I work with goes out as a group for lunch and when we do it's at non-kosher places. I don't eat anything from a treif animal or fish (I don't do that anyway) but will eat off the restaurant dishes. She's never said anything negative about it.
Lubab thanks for posting about this. The food issue is a biggie. Going OTD is always about how you face other OJ,or interested parties, who notice the change in your behavior.
DRJ and Rich - in Israel this is also much harder in many ways. Everyone is finely tuned to the shades of observance, and any deviations. For me it is still difficult to face the datiim in the workplace, who know I was frum, and am no longer.
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