I am pretty aware of the mitzvos (commandments) I don't do (daven, tephillin, etc.). Not davening doesn't take effort. I just don't do it. On the other hand I find that brachos (blessings) over food is something that I do unconsciously. Despite my heretical mindset, without thinking I pause before putting food in my mouth, say the appropriate bracha, then I eat. When I notice I'm doing it I'll usually stop reciting the blessing. Clearly, I haven't been saying these brachas with any serious kavanah (intention) in years. (Who does?) But its got me thinking about why am I still doing this mitzvah. I think it's so automatic because its been programmed in. Ah, you ask: What makes this mitzvah different from all other mitzvahs? The Pay Off! You get rewarded every time you make a bracha. Think Pavlov's dog, but replace the bell with a "borei pri haeitz". People complain about birchat hamazon (the blessing after the meal) but I don't know anyone who's complained about having to make a sahakol before eating. There's no pay off for birchat hamazon. The shows over.
The most surprising thing about this is I feel like I like the ritual. I enjoy this little process before eating. Maybe deferring the pleasure for a moment heightens the experience once you finally take that bite. A family member told me that after she quit smoking she missed the cigarettes, but she also missed the process! She liked the feel of the pack, tearing off the wrapping, tapping the cigarettes, pulling one out, putting it in her mouth, flicking the lighter and finally getting that first drag. She even pantomimed the whole thing out as she told it to me.
Has anyone else had a similar experience with this or another mitzvah?
LNM
9 comments:
I go to a few different Chabad shuls on occasion to see different people and shmooze. Most folks, including the Chasids go through the davening at 100 mph. They don't even know what they said. It's a big joke.
Suggestion:
Since it is a cowards way of tackling hardhip I strongly suggest that you don't run.
Rather invest some time in learning PEIRUSH HAMILOT so you understand what you're saying. Once you understand the nature of the different TEFILOTH you may even ENJOY davening.
LESS IS BETTER THAN NOTHING!
Start by davening just the 'basics' until you're comfortable with that. You may then choose to make the davening more 'colorful' by adding just a few more 'pieces'.
Davening can be VERY fulfilling if you 'know what your doing'.
Lubavitch not coming through for you is a lame excuse to abandon Yiddishkeit. There are plenty of GENUINE pious jews who'll be more than glad to help sort thing out to your satisfaction. Find someone you like and respect and ask him for guidance/assistance.
I sense that the short arrival of Rosh Hashana and the long davening is what got you going with all your shtick.
At any rate, I wish you a happy and healthy new year and may you be inscribed in the book of the righteous.
i went through a similar experience when i left my community, i guess i was so used to making brochos that it was second nature.
these days i almost never think about it, once in a blue moon the thought will pop into my head as i'm about to take a drink or something and then i'll make a bracha if its kosher. i do it cause i choose to do it, it is a spiritual experience when i do.
"Lubavitch not coming through for you is a lame excuse to abandon Yiddishkeit."
This seems to be a common issue for Lubavitchers who leave the community. It seems that somehow the educational system within Lubavitch is so demanding to the extent that if you half do something--as in if you don't do all your davening, or you don't do X than it's as if you shouldn't do it at all. I don't know if this is just a weakness in the students and there perception of either all or nothing, or the educators...I don't know where the problem stems from but I have seen this in many youth and adults who leave--they leave everything, and may never step foot into a synagogue again, because if it's not a Lubavitch/Orthodox synagogue it's not counted. I think it's a shame, because there are so many beautiful ways of serving Hashem, and many wonderful, different ways of doing so, so that it shouldn't be a case of throwing the baby out with the bath water. Anyways, enough said:)
rapunzel, Lubavitch "not coming through" for me is not the reason why I don't believe in god. I've been practicing for many years since I've left the movement. Personally, I never bought into the Lubavitch idea that "Chabad is the one true Judaism" so while many of your concerns about Lubavitch are valid, I'm afraid they don't apply to me.
What is true is the reasons for believing in Chabad's flavor of Judaism are not really that different from any other brand. In the end it all comes down to faith. Faith in mesorah, faith in the Torah or faith in god.
Religion fills some intangible voids otherwise left unfilled. For example, at a time of loss, perhaps of a loved one, there is universal need for solemnity and ritual. When getting married, there is a need for making the marriage sanctified. At a memorial service, it almost feels good, even to an atheist like me, to hear a rabbi uttering the usual nonsense.
Religion provides benefits that for want of a better word can be called ‘spiritual’. The need to pause for a second and thank something is healthy. It makes one feel good. The trick is to realize that you need not necessarily thank god for your food. Rather, you can thank your circumstance. Acknowledge that you have it rahter good. And remember those who are less fortunate. None of this needs to involve god.
Do not feel guilty for liking certain customs and rituals that religion provides. Religion itself is vulnerable to evolution. It is time to evolve religion into dumping god out of it and retaining its goodness and humanity.
Interesting. I totally hear it. I haven't been saying shema before I go to sleep and I actually miss it and feel like I don't fall asleep as easily now.
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