Writing this blog has been a great experience for me. No, I'm not about to start a swan song about ending LubabNoMore. I don't have any plans to shut this puppy down. I just want to give you some insight into where my head is at these days.
I was talking to TheCandyMan and he mentioned to me that I have a lot of unfinished, unpublished posts . (He has access to the blog's inner workings and can see all the notes and posts I've started.) I told him that I just don't have the same burning desire to post I had when I first started the blog. The fact is I've gotten to a point where I'm feeling pretty comfortable and just don't need to get it all out. I'm still far from where I want to be (which is reasonably openly non-orthodox) but blogging everyday doesn't feel like something I need to do.
When I first started the blog I was just getting comfortable with the idea that I don't believe in god. Now, that's just a fact of my life. I'm still me but I don't have this pressing need to get these thoughts off my chest. This has impacted the blog in a few ways. Most noticeably I don't post everyday. A few months ago I would stay up late almost every night and post about my latest idea, or question, or story. These days I just don't feel that same desire. I think quality is the other area where the blog has (occasionally) suffered. As I was losing the need to blog I tried to keep posting everyday. The result has been posts that are not as good as I would like.
So here is the plan moving forward...
I'm going to stick around, but in order to keep up the quality expect that I won't post as much as I used to.
This community is great and I want it to keep growing. I get the feeling there are many lurkers who benefit a great deal from the blogs. Lurkers: You guys (and gals) should blog. It's easy. Come on in. The water is fine. We're all still anonymous anyway. If you want any help setting up an anonymous email address and blog send me an email. I'm happy to show you how to do it/set it up for you. LubabNoMore@gmail.com
Blog! You'll be glad you did.
Random thought:
Maybe the skeptic blogs have a natural lifetime. Maybe because they have a natural starting point (religious) and natural end point (irreligious but comfortable with it) they all are destined to be somewhat short lived. On the other hand if you start religious and then end up irreligious but uncomfortable with it you get Shalom Auslander who still can't stop writing about it. I think the blogs of XGH keeps rising and falling because he's chasing a specific dream. What do you think? Also, if you blogged for a while, then stopped, what keeps you coming back to the skeptic blogs?
37 comments:
I, too, think that blogs have a "natural life" that may be cyclical or sinusoidal. I found that my "need" to write varies with where my head is. The problem is, of course, that if the blog slows down, so do the visitors...
Glad that you will post only periodically, that makes sense to me. The great XGH a prolific writer
and a brilliant person ( who I learned a lot from ) wrote every day and after a while I think that he ran out of things to say. After all how many times can you say I dont believe. I am looking forward to some interestimg discussions..... Avi
LNM,
I can't say your skepticism is what has drawn me in as much as your kindness and need to be genuine.
I finally did start my own blog:
Here in HP
(Let's hope the commenting software gets that right--last time I tried this it added the blogger's URL to mine).
Keep in touch with a new post every now and then.
- Leora
So apostate Jews blog until they get enough admiring comments not to feel guilty any more and then they stop? If they don't feel guilty, why don't they tell everyone who they are?
Lubab: Before you leave the blogosphere, I want to ask you for two things. One, I posted on religion today, on diversity of voices in the blogosphere, and listed a few kind voices I liked and you were one, so would love for you to stop by and make a comment. It is VERY diverse. Secondly, while you're at it, you can stop by my NEW blog and leave a description of you own Internal Cognitive Map of the World for posterity. Will be sorry to see you go.
At some point you have to accept your skepticism but then there's the inevitable "now what?" question.
Ok, so you don't believe in Orthodoxy. What does that mean about the life you're leading? How does it change your goals in life? What philosophies on life, the universe and everything do you entertain while your previous construct lies in ruins?
A lot of skeptics don't seem realize that skepticism is not an end in itself. It is a means to select the best of ideas. Skepticism is the easy part, now comes the more difficult part if you care to engage it.
I don't like the way you use the word "skeptic." Everyone is skeptical of something. For example, an Orthodox Jew is skeptical that the Torah wasn't written by Moses. For someone to call themselves a "skeptic" is as ridiculous as for someone to call themselves a "believer." Everyone is skeptical of something, and everyone believes in something. The questions are - Of what are you skeptical? and In what do you believe?
Stm,
"I don't like the way you use the word "skeptic." Everyone is skeptical of something."
Are you talking to me? I was using the term in reference to the evidence-based epistemological method. That is, there's an actual objective method, not just a difference of opinion.
I presume LNM meant it similarly, or more specifically as shorthand for "Jews skeptical of Orthodoxy."
STM,
The context makes it pretty clear what I mean when I use the term "skeptic".
A lot of atheist blogs have this standard lifestyle if the writer started the blog with the idea of working through this transition by writing about it.
But different people blog for different reasons. There are cases where the person blogged for more than a year as a believer, stopped believing, and kept right on going with the blog. :D
Then there are people like me: atheist for more than a decade before discovering blogging. In my case I'm not really working through a transition (there's nothing new about atheism for me), but rather I'm interested in exchanging ideas with like-minded people.
I believe that your dilemma is similar to mine. I have chosen to be not religious yet, have chosen not to leave their world . So here I am. This is wbo I am & this is where I shall remain till I die. And I can handle it
BTW,
The term 'skeptic' also rubs me the wrong way, although like people here already said, it is pretty clear what the object of skepticism here is.
I think it bothers me because there is an unscrupulous tendency to use it to imply that such 'skeptics' are skeptical of everything in general, and therefore are plainly unreasonable, that they would demand proof that the sun will rise tomorrow, that we are not just brains in a jar, etc., when in reality that is not the majority of the people labeled 'skeptic'
I believe that your dilemma is similar to mine. I have chosen to be not religious yet, have chosen not to leave their world . So here I am. This is wbo I am & this is where I shall remain till I die. And I can handle it
Hey Lubab I think that Jay said it best. We are all in this situation. I too live in a frum world without being frum. You because of your "aishes Chial " will have to do the same. Just do as little as possible.....Avi
Sorry to hear you won't be posting as often, but I'm glad to hear you won't be leaving the blogosphere entirely.
JP,
>So apostate Jews blog until they get enough admiring comments not to feel guilty any more and then they stop? If they don't feel guilty, why don't they tell everyone who they are?
This comment is a good example of how you can be a religious person but still be mean.
I know exactly what you meant by the word "skeptic." Ten years ago I was reading Skeptic Magazine for fun. I wasn't born yesterday. I said that it is an inappropriate use of the word.
Nor is "skepticism" an epistemological method. Everyone's belief system is evidence-based. The evidence upon which Jews base their beliefs is the mesora, and I'm sure you know what that means. Do I believe in it? No. But that is the evidence upon which Jews base their beliefs: the guess that from parent to child, the Torah was passed more or less unadulterated.
And Jews would be skeptical that the tradition handed down from generation to generation is false. They are skeptics, and you are the believer. You believe that the mesora is false.
Why don't you just call yourself an atheist? That wouldn't be the best use of words, but it would be better than "skeptic."
> Why don't you just call yourself an atheist? That wouldn't be the best use of words, but it would be better than "skeptic."
The term "atheist" might be equally as inaccurate. What's you're doing here is literally arguing semantics. Words can have multiple definitions and can also have colloquial meanings. Everyone understands what skeptic means in this context.
JP said,
"So apostate Jews blog until they get enough admiring comments not to feel guilty any more and then they stop? If they don't feel guilty, why don't they tell everyone who they are?"
1. In the global marketplace of ideas, apostacy clearly has gained the upper hand, thank God. Apostacy has a bright future.
2. A blogger might not "come out" for many reasons, just as a gay person or a recovering alcoholic (no implications here) might choose to remain discrete. It might be to avoid pain to others around him.
Stm,
"I know exactly what you meant by the word "skeptic." Ten years ago I was reading Skeptic Magazine for fun. I wasn't born yesterday. I said that it is an inappropriate use of the word."
You're silly.
"Nor is "skepticism" an epistemological method. Everyone's belief system is evidence-based. The evidence upon which Jews base their beliefs is the mesora, and I'm sure you know what that means. Do I believe in it? No. But that is the evidence upon which Jews base their beliefs: the guess that from parent to child, the Torah was passed more or less unadulterated."
Look up scientific skepticism or rational skepticism or any of those variations. They are real epistemological methods that involve things like empiricism and critical thinking. Evidence comes in different qualities and not all evidence is created equally.
People who see lights in the sky and conclude alien invaders are also basing their beliefs on evidence, but they're hardly skeptics.
"They are skeptics, and you are the believer. You believe that the mesora is false."
LOL!
Listen, if you want to use the term in a purely relative way, that's your business. I don't really care. But you should realize that it has other usages too.
"The term "atheist" might be equally as inaccurate. What's you're doing here is literally arguing semantics. Words can have multiple definitions and can also have colloquial meanings. Everyone understands what skeptic means in this context."
This is strange because you have openly declared yourself to be an atheist. Also, if you're unsure of your beliefs, then you are an agnostic. You are either a theist, and atheist, or an agnostic. You are a believer in one of those ideologies.
You're a believer! To be human is not to err; it is to be a believer.
Orthoprax, exactly what is so silly my comment? I find it silly that you call it silly.
I am also a skeptic. I am a skeptic of atheism and agnosticism. But I have my own understanding of God.
STM,
> ...if you're unsure of your beliefs, then you are an agnostic. You are either a theist, and atheist, or an agnostic. You are a believer in one of those ideologies. You're a believer! To be human is not to err; it is to be a believer.
I believe that the chair I'm sitting in is not going to collapse a moment from now. This belief is based on my previous experiences with solid objects. I "believe" the chair will remain solid. The same is true for me an god. Based on what I know, my previous experience, and the evidence, he does not exist. But by your definition my belief in my chair makes me a "believer". (Sounds like you've been hanging around RG a little too long.)
You're arguing that we shouldn't use the word "skeptic" but this is really just a thinly veiled disguise for your real agenda. What you are actually trying to claim is that we are all believe in something and therefore we can believe in god.
Somehow I'm not convinced.
Re: that they would demand proof that the sun will rise tomorrow, that we are not just brains in a jar, etc.,
Oh please, not the "brain in a jar" thing again. Why is it that whenever someone wants to argue the postmodernist position that theories backed by real-world evidence are no better than theories that conflict with real-world evidence, they resort to the "maybe all of reality is just an illusion" argument?
My preferred response to the "brain in a jar" or "we're living in the matrix" thing is just a comment, found here, and for further discussion, look here.
>You are either a theist, and atheist, or an agnostic. You are a believer in one of those ideologies.
don't forget pantheism or a Deism
Stm,
"Orthoprax, exactly what is so silly my comment? I find it silly that you call it silly.
I am also a skeptic. I am a skeptic of atheism and agnosticism. But I have my own understanding of God."
It's silly because you want to change the English language for your ideological agenda.
"I believe that the chair I'm sitting in is not going to collapse a moment from now. This belief is based on my previous experiences with solid objects. I "believe" the chair will remain solid. The same is true for me an god. Based on what I know, my previous experience, and the evidence, he does not exist. But by your definition my belief in my chair makes me a "believer"."
You are a believer with the chairs if you feel that there is no possibility that the chair won't explode. As for G-d you may compare your experinece to the chair but seeing as it's only your interpretation you are expressing your beliefs rather than facts. It should not disturb you to not be so right that you can't be argued with.
Lubab,
I am not convinced of both your attempts to dismiss my semantic arguments.
I am standing up for language the way that language is supposed to be used. It is an abuse of the word "skeptic" or "believer" to mean "skeptical of the existence of God" or "believer in God."
Lubab, to suit your agenda, you are trying to frame me as someone who is trying to make it impossible for you to express your beliefs. This is ridiculous, especially considering that I even tried to help you, like a parent trying to help a child, express yourself by giving you a simple multiple-choice alternative of "atheist," "agnostic," and "theist." Apparently, you have no comment as to which camp you belong to, even though you have openly labeled yourself as an atheist.
Furthermore, none of you - not one of you - has any idea what I mean by "God" when I say "I believe in God." Do I believe in God? Yes, according to the ideal definition of the word - a definition that I have formulated, and one on which I expound.
If I may be euphemistic, it is simply childish to use the word "skeptic" in the way that you do, and it is that childishness that I have a problem with.
Orthodox, you are a silly man, for you pretend that I am trying to change the English language, as though "I am a skeptic of atheism and agnosticism" is an invalid use of the word "skeptic." It is a perfectly valid use of the word "skeptic." Therefore, I am a skeptic. You are the one who is trying to change language to suit your agenda.
Furthermore, I say again that there is no epistemological method called 'skepticism.' I already know that everyone goes by history to make their judgments. Religious people also go by history to make their determination that their religion is correct, for there is truth to religion, even if its literal interpretation is flawed.
Stm,
"Orthodox, you are a silly man, for you pretend that I am trying to change the English language, as though "I am a skeptic of atheism and agnosticism" is an invalid use of the word "skeptic." It is a perfectly valid use of the word "skeptic." Therefore, I am a skeptic. You are the one who is trying to change language to suit your agenda."
Your use isn't invalid, your restriction to that use is. Sure, so call yourself a skeptic, but you're just going to be confusing people.
"Furthermore, I say again that there is no epistemological method called 'skepticism.'"
True, and I never said there was, but there are methods that are described that way - i.e. rational skepticism or scientific skepticism, which I wrote about previously. And therefore a skeptic would be one who applies those methods as a general approach to epistemology.
Lubab,
Your kefira seems to be progressing very quickly. In fact I would venture to say that I think you're a fraud with an agenda. It just doesn't add up. First, you rarely mention your wife/kid any more. Second, the "Candyman" persona is really suspicious. Where'd you dig him up? Candyman also sounds like some perv name. Hey KIDS its the CANDYMAN?!?!?!?!? You scare me Lubab.
Look the word skeptic in general doesn't mean towards religion. It is an attitude. Still as a secondary meaning it is used as being towards religion. Naturally on sites dealing with religion it is being used for an attitude towards religion. As long as we use words in context people won't get confused.
sdr,
You think Candyman is a perv? In addition to being a perv, I suspect him to be a cereal killer. No man would call himself "the Candyman" unless he has killed at least two people. He scares me, too.
I am not a perv, or a cereal killer. It takes one to know one.
Didn't they have a Candyman at your shul growing up? Sheesh.
PS I am a real person.
Guys,
It's 'serial' not 'cereal', i.e. they kill in series - not corn flakes.
I thought they kill using corn flakes. My bad.
STM,
> Lubab, to suit your agenda, you are trying to frame me as someone who is trying to make it impossible for you to express your beliefs
Now you're just making things up. I'm bored of arguing with you.
Lubab,
I was bored of arguing with you ten posts ago. I just had the decency to keep it to myself.
I also stoped blogging as much..mostly becuase I started this blog out of a desire to get down things that were on my mind, and now that they're out...they're out. And I don't have much to write about unless new stuff happens.
on the other hand, I have another blog I've kept for over 6 years that I update about everything that goes on in my life (not just the specific jewish topics) and that one is still going strong.
I think it's the focus of the blog that makes it short lived
Lubab,
Your done already! Wow, that was fast. I mean, I know that you are not leaving, but I am amazed that you have arrived at your destination so quickly. Good for you :)
Candy Man- I don't think you are a corn flake or a human killer :) I like your stuff very much.
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