The Biggest Jerk

[LNM: Another fruit gem from the Candyman.]

Hey folks, Shul Candyman here. Wow, there are so many great things in the Joseph narrative to write about. Complex themes. Forgotten secrets. Delicious treats. But all that's going to have to wait until next week, because if there's one thing I really cannot, cannot, cannot stand, it's when people talk about how Onan died as a punishment for masturbation (or coitus interruptus, or contraception, or whatever you want to call it). Hopefully most of you know all this already, but here goes:

People have always choked the chicken. There's absolutely no reason to think that this is a new phenomenon. In the Bible's eyes, masturbation doesn't even rate as a sin. The Bible concerns itself only with rather serious sexual dalliances, such as incest, adultery, rape, when it's OK to rape (Deut. 21:10-14), etc. Hell, in our story the tzaddik (pious) Judah thinks nothing of stopping by a prostitute on the way home from work for a little afternoon delight. (Probably wasn't his first time, if you know what I mean.) Masturbation? Not worth mentioning. Even back then, that was strictly between you and your pillow.

So why was Onan punished? Let's read what the Torah actually says (Gen. 38:8-10, JPS 1917 translation):

וַיֹּאמֶר יְהוּדָה לְאוֹנָן, בֹּא אֶל-אֵשֶׁת אָחִיךָ וְיַבֵּם אֹתָהּ; וְהָקֵם זֶרַע, לְאָחִיךָ.
וַיֵּדַע אוֹנָן, כִּי לֹּא לוֹ יִהְיֶה הַזָּרַע; וְהָיָה אִם-בָּא אֶל-אֵשֶׁת אָחִיו, וְשִׁחֵת אַרְצָה, לְבִלְתִּי נְתָן-זֶרַע, לְאָחִיו.
וַיֵּרַע בְּעֵינֵי יְהוָה, אֲשֶׁר עָשָׂה; וַיָּמֶת, גַּם-אֹתוֹ

And Judah said unto Onan: 'Go in unto thy brother's wife, and perform the duty of a husband's brother unto her, and raise up seed to thy brother.' And Onan knew that the seed would not be his; and it came to pass when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest he should give seed to his brother. And the thing which he did was evil in the sight of the LORD; and He slew him also.

Onan is asked to perform levirate marriage. In the ritual, the widow of a childless man remarries to a relative of his, even his brother or father. The firstborn child of this second husband is considered the deceased's son, and inherits the deceased’s property. In the Israelite world view, the ritual gives the dead man some continuance in the world (the idea of an eternal soul was not generally accepted), and cannot be shirked lightly. This obligation to the deceased compels Tamar and Ruth to tirelessly seek out their redeemers (here and Ruth 3:8-9), for which they are lauded (v. 26 here; Ruth 3:10, 4:12, 15). By contrast, refusal to fulfill the obligation of levirate marriage is met with official, public humiliation (Deut. 25:9). (For a discussion of the Rabbinical, exegetical interpretation of levirate marriage, pick up David Weiss Halivni's book "Peshat and Derash".)

Now Onan was a sneaky guy. He didn't want Tamar to get pregnant, because he knew that the seed would not be his. If he fathered Tamar's kid, he'd be feeding a child and taking care of a field that wasn't his own, but his dead bro's. Why waste the money and resources? We hear a very similar sentiment from Ruth's closest redeemer. At first, he expresses interest in redeeming Elimelech's land. But when he finds out that it will belong not to him, he backs out of the deal: 'I cannot redeem it for myself, lest I mar mine own inheritance;' Ruth 4:4-6). Similarly, by having a child with Tamar, Onan would be providing his brother an heir, and forfeiting his claim on property he stood to eventually inherit. So Onan did what any (sneaky, dishonorable) guy would do: he married Tamar, but pulled out at the last second. (I wonder how Tamar reacted to this... did he think she wouldn't notice???)

God saw what Onan did, and he was not amused. Now, if the moral of this story is that masturbation is wrong, it should have been a lot simpler. It should have been a short, inspiring tale about a guy who didn't want to have kids, pulled out at the last second, and then got hit by a lightning bolt. Why include all this stuff about levirate marriage? The answer is that God would never have struck someone down just for spilling a little love juice. Hell, if God killed people for masturbation, no one would ever survive past bar mitzva. No, God was not pissed at Onan for pulling a jerk. He was pissed because Onan was a jerk -- a selfish jerk! There's a way the world works, and one of those ways is to invest a little sperm and money in your dead brother's estate when no one else is there to pick up the slack. Trapping your bro's widow in a childless marriage? Not cool. (Zaaaap!)

'course, he's still kind of a grumpy Old Testament god. But at least he's normal.

Happy Rosh HaShanah to Chassidus!

In honor of Yud-Tes Kislev I'll keep it brief today. (Pass the Smirnoff.)
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I love the following poster from despair.com.

My thoughts exactly.

(Hat tip: The Kvetcher)

Orthopraxers: Why Be Committed to Israel?

The latest attempt to create an Israeli-Palestinian peace agreement is underway in Annapolis, Maryland. The conference has got me thinking about Israel and Jewish support for it. In my opinion, religion is the fundamental reason for the hard-right position many Jews take on Israel. I had this debate in the comment section of one of LittleFoxling's posts. (Post link : Comments link) There are other (valid) reasons for supporting Israel but when you get down to it the Torah is the reason for our attachment to the small strip of land, in the hostile neighborhood, located just off the Mediterranean.

But what if you don't believe in the divinity of the Torah? Let's say you're orthoprax. Do you still take a hard-liner approach? Would you support the settlements?

Why would an Orthopraxer blindly support Israel?

Yeah, yeah, I recognize that there are some haredi who support land-for-peace and some atheists who want to "kill all the Arabs" but they are outside the norm for their peer group. What I'm interested in is the norm (if any) for Orthopraxers.

Cause and Effect Judaism: Prayer for the State of Israel

Many people claim that the purpose of Jewish prayer is to better ourselves and that prayer is not a method of getting god to do things for us. I suppose there are parts of the codified prayer where you might be able to apply that approach. However there are areas where Jews clearly pray for a specific outcome. Take for example prayers for the safe release of the captured Israeli soldiers. Or how about the prayer for the State of Israel?

Shield it with Your lovingkindness, envelop it in Your peace, and bestow Your light and truth upon its leaders, ministers, and advisors, and grace them with Your good counsel. (jewishvirtuallibrary.org)

This is a clear request to god. The words Jewish people pray imply the purpose is something other than self-improvement.

Modern Orthodox Judaism wants to present prayer as a form of self-betterment but it doesn't fit. Jewish sources present prayer as a way to request something from god (life, liberty, etc.) In Shmuel (Samuel) Chana prays to god with a specific deal in mind (give me a child and I will give that child to you).

I understand that Judaism doesn't claim that you will get whatever you pray for. ("Sometimes the answer is no.") But Judaism does imply that prayer is a way to ask for things from god. Those who claim prayer is only a path to self-improvement are at odds with Jewish tradition.

Cause and Effect Judaism

At my in-laws' Shabbos table this past week an interesting topic came up. My sister-in-law told us she was recently subjected to a speech where she was informed that by being more tznius (modest) she could stop terror attacks in Israel. I'm happy to say she was fairly put off by the suggestion that her hem line has something to do with bombs half way across the world. (OnionSoupMix also happened to post on this very same topic this weekend. Click here. DHS must have put out a press release.) Her topic got a discussion going on the topic of "Cause and Effect Judaism" (my father-in-law's eloquent term). Someone mentioned that when teachers from an ultra orthodox community teach at the local modern orthodox school they are instructed not to tell stories that imply a cause and effect. For example: The son of Mr. and Mrs. Flatbush got very ill, the Flatbush family had their mezuzahs checked and a mistake was found! Once the typographical error was corrected the son had a quick and miraculous recovery.

Reactions to the discussion were mixed. Mostly the "frummier" family members didn't want to have the discussion. I was raised on "cause and effect Judaism" (C&EJ) and was surprised to hear that some schools go out of their way to avoid these kinds of stories.

If you don't believe in C&EJ do you believe that your actions in this world make a difference in the next? Related question, if you don't believe in C&EJ then why be frum?

Kings of England

[LNM: Here is this week's devar Torah from guest poster TheCandyMan.]

Hi guys, your friendly shul candyman here. LNM has graciously handed me the mic, in order to bring you a little piece of Torah. It might be one of the forgotten secrets of the Torah. Or it might be a bissel heresy. Who knows? When you come to the candyman, you don't get to choose which candy you get. Sometimes you get a mint. Other times, it's a butterscotch.

Buried in the back of this week's Torah portion, Vayishlach, is one of the ten verses every Jew should know. It goes like this:

And these are the kings that ruled in the land of Edom, before a king was appointed in the land of Israel. (Gen. 36:31)

For clarity, let's recast the verse in terms we can understand:

And these are the kings of England, before a president was first elected in the United States.

Say you encounter such a sentence out of context. When might such a sentence have been written? Well, the author speaks of a U.S. president. She refers to this presidency as historical fact, accepted by everyone. We, the audience, know that there have been U.S. presidents since Washington took office in 1789. So, it stands to reason that this sentence was written sometime after 1789 (we can't know exactly when), and refers to the kings of England prior to 1789.

Similarly, when Gen. 36:31 refers to a time "before there were kings in Israel" the simplest explanation is the times before Saul, the first king of Israel. If so, the verse must have been written after the time of Saul. In this little corner of Vayishlach, buried beneath a pile of obscure names, the Torah dates itself to post-monarchy Israel.

The clincher is that the same exact verse (and a very similar passage) appears in I Chronicles 1:43. In Chronicles, the verse was obviously written after the Israelite monarchy had become established. After all, the author of Chronicles speaks of kings Saul, David, and Solomon by name. It's only natural that this author/historian should put the Edomite kings in historical context for his post-monarchy Israelite audience. It is just like putting the kings of England in historical context for us by making a reference to the presidents of the United States. Now, if you agree that the verse in Chronicles was written after the time of Saul, shouldn't you apply the same logic to the verse in Vayishlach?

What Are You Thankfull For?

I love Thanksgiving. It's a very meaningful holiday even if it is subjective, and lacks divine authority. ;) I enjoy the food, the long weekend, the Lions game. There is a real mood to the event. Maybe it has something to do with the weather. It's that time of year when everyone snuggles up in their sweatshirts and makes hot coco. It's very warm and comforting. Good stuff.

Thanksgiving may have originated as a time to give thanks for the harvest season however, most modern Americans haven't gathered many gourds. So instead, we use the time to give thanks to whatever it is that we are grateful for. Because of the Pilgrim story I've long associated Thanksgiving with the discovery of the New World. I like to think of Thanksgiving as a time to appreciate everything America has done for me.

As a blogger I'm particularly thankful for:

Free Speech:
I take this right for granted all too often. I'm fascinated by the stories of bloggers in China who work constantly to stay one step ahead of the government with their writings and poems. And the tragedy of those who get caught and are sent to prison for a particularly witty SMS message. I am thankful for the right to free speech and the ability to express myself in almost any way.

and

Freedom of Religion:
Freedom of religion is freedom of choice. I may not believe in Judaism now but I appreciate that I had been allowed to practice as a Jew for most of my life in peace. Today as an atheist/skeptic I recognize that Freedom of Religion is also freedom from religion. In the U.S. I am not forced by the government to follow a religion. Whereas in Iran and other Islamic countries atheism is banned. Seriously. The Iranian national internet firewall blocks any content on atheism or content that questions Islam. I am thankful for the right to live my spiritual life in any way I choose.

Without these rights I would not be the person I am today and for that I thank the U.S..

What are you thankful for?

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P.S. I'm going to go easy on the blogging this weekend. Happy Thanksgiving!

Why Should God Need a Chosen People?

Why should god need a chosen people? If you argue that god exists, and he wants us to better ourselves, why does it make sense that he would only want some of humanity to achieve a "higher level?" Why not make the revelation available to all people? What purpose does it serve to have only some people following his ultimate plan? And, if you want to argue that the Jewish people are inherently special then why does Judaism allow conversions? Conversions imply that what is really important is adherence to the commandments and not one's lineage. If Judaism is truly the path to the betterment of humanity then why would god relegate it to one nation?

Again, why should god need a chosen people?

Lotto vs. Faith

I had a good friend stay over for Shabbos. He is a very smart guy and the sort of person who likes to take ideas to their logical conclusion. He is outwardly orthodox. A while back I shared my skepticism with him. He revealed to me that he is of a similar mind. But, unlike myself he said he doesn't act on his disbelief because he's "all talk."

He feels pretty strongly that you can't prove that god doesn't exist. As he put it "not that I believe for certain that He does exist, but there is a greater than zero probability that He exists." I took issue with the statement "there is a greater than zero probability that He exists." I told him that line makes it sound like he's saying "there is around a 10% chance god exists" but in reality he means something more like "there is a less than a 10^1,000,000,000,000 chance god exists."

As our discussion continued I suggested the following:
Based on no evidence let's say the chances that god exists are 1 in 500,000,000. Pretty generous odds I would say. Now what are the odds you will win the Powerball on any given week? 1 in 146,107,962. I may buy a ticket because the investment (for lack of a better word) seems worthwhile. (It isn't.) But, once I have the ticket in hand I won't start planning my retirement. The odds are way too low to make any kind of assumptions about the future.

If the odds of winning the lotto are too low to plan your life around them why would you plan your life around god if the chances are equally dismal?

Follow up question:
What do you think the chances are that god exists?

Moses was a Skeptic

[LNM: As promised here is the first of (hopefully) many posts by The Candy Man. Enjoy!]

Most readers of LNM are probably familiar with the story of Moses striking the rock. The Israelites in the desert had assembled against Moses and Aaron and demanded water from them (Numbers 20:1-6). They consulted God, who replied to Moses (1917 JPS translation of v. 8-12):

'Take the rod, and assemble the congregation, thou, and Aaron thy brother, and speak ye unto the rock before their eyes, that it give forth its water; and thou shalt bring forth to them water out of the rock; so thou shalt give the congregation and their cattle drink.'... And Moses and Aaron gathered the assembly together before the rock, and he said unto them: 'Hear now, ye rebels; are we to bring you forth water out of this rock?' And Moses lifted up his hand, and smote the rock with his rod twice; and water came forth abundantly, and the congregation drank, and their cattle. And the LORD said unto Moses and Aaron: 'Because ye believed not in Me, to sanctify Me in the eyes of the children of Israel, therefore ye shall not bring this assembly into the land which I have given them.'

The story is straightforward, but some details aren’t clear. Why did Moses strike the rock, rather than speak to it as God commanded? And why is he punished so severely for his disobedience?

Rather than go straight to the commentators, let's take a moment and examine the text itself. The first clue comes from what God says. God explains that Moses and Aaron are being punished because ye believed not in Me, to sanctify Me in the eyes of the children of Israel. God is accusing Moses of nothing less than a lack of faith. But what did Moses fail to believe? He only deviated slightly from God’s command, hitting the rock rather than speaking to it. What was so bad about that?

The second clue comes from what Moses says, just before he strikes the rock: Hear now, ye rebels; are we to bring forth water out of this rock? If we are to understand this story, we must understand what this statement means. Might this have something to do with Moses’ punishment?

The plain (in Hebrew, p’shat) answer is that Moses was asking his people a rhetorical question. “We're in the middle of the desert. Where am I supposed to get water for you guys? Do you think I can bring forth water from a rock? (OF COURSE NOT! THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE!)” Frustrated, beleaguered, Moses was simply being sarcastic. He did not personally believe water would come out of the rock. He thought, perhaps, that God was setting him up to fail. Or perhaps he believed that, no matter how powerful God was, this was impossible even for him. The people were being ridiculous, asking him the impossible! And so he struck the rock, not in an attempt to perform a miracle, but in anger, in a dramatic bid to prove his point (and save his neck).

When Moses struck the rock and water gushed forth, no one was more surprised than he was. And that lack of faith cost him his entry into the holy land.

Most commentators make a mess of this story, although some of them get it right (including the IDF/Rabanut Tanach and the Hertz Pentateuch and Haftorahs). Why do so many commentaries miss the point? The answer is obvious. It’s difficult to understand why Moses, who brought the plagues on Egypt with his rod, could doubt God’s ability. This logical conundrum prevents people from reading the story and understanding it as it is written. Yet, read properly, the story suddenly makes perfect sense. Moses indeed had a lack of faith, just as God accuses him. And of course he was punished severely. Not only did he doubt God’s word, but he made his doubts public in a violent display of disbelief. Because ye believed not in Me, to sanctify Me in the eyes of the children of Israel. It is no wonder that he received such a severe punishment, from which God would not allow him to repent.

(There is a secret here, about why Moses doubted this miracle above all others. If you think about the significance of the miracle, it may dawn on you.)

Skepticism is nothing new. In fact, it is probably the most common theme of the entire Hebrew Bible. Here, in blogs like LNM, we gather to discuss our own skepticism honestly and openly (and sometimes, like Moses, with anger and sarcasm!). It is an opportunity to forget what we think we know and re-read the classic texts with fresh eyes. It is also the start of a new text, a new teaching, a new Torah, which we build and participate in ourselves. May it be enlightening.

Living on a Prayer

I've been praying shacharis the past few days. And by shacharis I mean shema and shmona esrei. Praying again has been a strange experience. It is very familiar and I can slip right back into it. That's good and bad. I'll start with the bad. It's bad because I find myself mindlessly mumbling the words. Hardly worth my time. On the other hand I was surprised to find myself a little excited for shmona esre. I liked that moment where I just shut everything out and prepared to focus on what I was about to say. Of course I lost that cool feeling once I started reading the pre-scribed prayer in front of me. I slogged through it but I kept thinking this might be worth my time if I just said my own thing. So tomorrow that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to focus on my own thoughts for five minutes and try to find some kind of meaning and review the ways in which I can better myself. Basically, I'm going to meditate while wearing my tallis and tefillin.

The experience got me thinking about what prayer does for us. I think it is pretty clear that people who believe in prayer can use it to change their own lives and attitudes. Prayer must be at least as good as a placebo, but maybe better. Perhaps focused, relaxed concentration (meditation or prayer) allows us to build the foundation for real change.

I certainly don't believe in the words so I'll be skimming those but I think there might actually be something to this meditation approach.

The Candy Man Cometh...

I tend to approach religion and faith from a non-scholarly point of view. Call me (very) old fashioned by I like to reason it out using my wits and my senses. There are a couple reasons for this. More often than not my focus is on belief in god and not belief in Torah. Trying to prove god by way of the Torah is a circular argument so I stay away from that approach. I also don't believe Torah comes from a divine source so I get dismissive of the text and don't find inspiration in dissecting the stories. For example, I read that God tells Abraham to sacrifice his son, and I raise one quizzical eyebrow and think to myself "Nothing for me here."

But just because I'm quick to dismiss doesn't mean the arguments aren't interesting. So to round out this blog I have added a contributor who will approach the issues of God, Torah and religion from a scholarly perspective. Starting this Friday The Candy Man will make his first weekly post. The Candy Man is smart, funny and idealistic. He's also a good friend. I look forward to reading his stuff.


Sammy Davis Jr.'s The Candy Man
I apologize for the use Johnny Depp's Willy Wonka. [clops al cheit] Unfortunately, I was unable to find a video using both Gene Wilder and SDJ's vocals. :(

Strapping Back In

My relationship with my wife has been a little rough in the past few weeks. I had hoped that she would get used to my beliefs as long as I did the absolute basics like going to shul on Shabbos and making Kiddush at home. A case of wishful thinking if I've ever heard one. It's clear that she is bothered by my state of mind. She has been mentioning it more frequently and seems to be getting frustrated with me. It sucks.

I think I need to do more than just talk to friends, Rabbis and read more sefarim/books. Recently, I read an A.V. Club interview with author A. J. Jacobs. Jacobs is promoting his new book "A Year of Living Biblically" in which he chronicles his attempt to live his life according to the Bible for one year. I found A.J.'s following quote interesting:

Praying was interesting, because I'd never done it before. The only time I'd ever said the word "lord" was when it was followed by "of the rings." I was really trying to commit to this and not just do it as a lark, so I was praying every day. After a while, if you're committed, you start to believe in the things in which you're praying. It's just cognitive dissonance. You can't live a completely religious life and not start to have it sink in.

I think that you can (artificially) create meaning in something by committing to doing it. I don't want to but I am going to start putting some real effort in being Orthoprax. I'm going to break out the tephillin, try to daven three times a day, I'll even bust out my old yellowed tzitzit. I feel like I'm agreeing to brainwash myself. Maybe this is what people felt when they were forced to walk the plank. I dunno. At this moment my marriage is more important to me for me not to try committing.

I Found Jesus at Blockbuster

I went to Blockbuster today. I was looking for the movie "Serenity," Joss Whedon's theatrical follow-up to his short-lived, cult show Firefly. The video store was a mess. I walked to the Action section and found shelves and shelves of DVDs piled in short stacks. The "S" section looked like it was hit by a tornado. I tried finding "Serenity" alphabetically. That strategy was a waste of time. So, I restricted my search to the shelf above and below where it should have been. Still no dice. I next systematically worked my way back through "S". "S.W.A.T.", "Starship Troopers", "STEALTH", "The Terminator." My obsessive compulsiveness kicked in when I saw "The Terminator" under "S". I picked it up and placed it one shelf over in "T". I continued. "Star Wars: Episode V", "Star Wars: Episode I", "Star Trek: Nemisis", "Star Wars: Episode II". Now the disarray was just bothering me and my compulsion kicked into high gear. I started rearranging the DVDs. "Episode II", "Episode III", "Episode IV", Combine all "Superman: The Movie" DVDs into one pile. Take "Stargate" and move it next to Sta-- [THUNK, Thunk, thunk, thunk, thunk] Being the klutz I am I knocked a stack of DVDs off the shelf and onto the floor. As the dust settled a Blockbuster employee walked toward me carrying a tower of DVD cases. I thought to myself "You've done enough damage for one day. Quit wasting time." I turned to the employee and asked her if they carry "Serenity". "Yeah, I think so," she replied "It should be right around here" and she turned to the shelf I was just wasting time on. I looked again at the shelf and before she said another word I saw "Serenity" right in front of me. It was wedged in the middle of a stack between "Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow" and "Sahara". I pulled it off the shelf and quoted the New Testament to her "Ask, and ye shall receive." She half laughed then made the tight smile you make when you want to be polite but don't really want to talk to someone. I quickly walked to the register.

OK, so I didn't ask Jesus to give me "Serenity" (the movie) but what if I had? I might have given The Son credit for helping me find the disk I was looking for. Why would this be any different from running into an old friend at the Koysel (Kotel) and saying the meeting was god's will? It seems to me that in both situations we are inserting god where he may or may not be involved. What do you think?

Julia Sweeney: Letting Go of God

Here is some Friday video for ya. After Julia Sweeney's run of "God Said, Ha!" she made a follow-up act called "Letting Go of God." Below is a video excerpt of one of her programs. In it she tells a funny story about an encounter she had with some Mormon missionaries. Her experience with the Mormons and their extraordinary story made her question the extraordinary stories she believed as a Catholic. I found it similar to my experience of being open to questioning MO Judaism after having questioned Lubavitch. (The Mormon story starts at 7:37)

Funny stuff. Enjoy!



Update:
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More of this story can be heard in a "This American Life" program called "Godless America." Julia picks up where the video stops at 36:10. In this episode she tells the story I mentioned in the last post where she meets with her priest and discusses her doubts.
http://www.thislife.org/Radio_Episode.aspx?episode=290

SNL's Julia Sweeney Went OTD

This American Life is a fun NPR show. It is an hour-long radio program that picks a new theme each week and then produces a variety of stories on that theme. Like much on NPR it can be a little self-important at times but mostly it's entertaining and fascinating. I highly recommend the show.

Because I enjoyed listening to the program so much, at one point I started working my way through the archives. One particular episode ,titled "Julia Sweeney," jumped out at me. The episode focused the entire hour on Julia Sweeney who you may know from SNL. When I first heard it I was still on the fence about God and the Torah and found myself disagreeing with her at times. This episode focuses on a couple recordings of Julia's stand-up routine. In her routine she talks about her brother getting cancer and then later getting cancer herself. She later developed this material into a one-woman show called God Said, Ha!. Long story short, Julia went off the derech over the course of her experience. She recounts how she struggled with her faith (she was a Catholic) and spoke to her clergy about her thoughts. There are some similarities to what many skeptic bloggers have gone through with their Rabbis. Here is a link to the Julia Sweeney TAL program: http://www.thislife.org/Radio_Episode.aspx?episode=9

All Too Easy...

Over the first days of this past Sukkos I began violating Yom Tov/Shabbos in private. While watching the baseball playoffs during the last days of Sukkos I was talking to a good friend and fellow skeptic about the experience of crossing over this line. He also grew up orthodox and has been non-observant for some time. He thought that my ease with transgression was unusually fast. As I mentioned in the post, I didn't feel any guilt about the violation and I seemed to make the transition from keeping halacha to not keeping halacha fairly easily. I get the impression from other blogs that this isn't the case for everyone.

I (of course) have a theory about this. I think my current separation from halacha has parallels to my separation from Lubavitch. There were a number of practices that I followed as a Chabadnik that I dropped over the years. I stopped wearing Rabbenu Tam's tephillin, I began eating non-Cholov Yisroel , I shaved off my ZZ Top-like beard to name a few. These practices were treated like halacha even if they weren't actually required. I slowly stopped keeping them over the years and was never struck by lightning.

When I stopped believing in Chabad's approach to Judaism I found it was easier to stop believing in other aspects of Judaism. I think having stopped following certain Lubavitch rituals made it easier to stop following many Jewish rituals.

Did you find it easy or difficult to stop keeping halacha, or do you still keep it?

R' Orlofsky on "Why Be Jewish"

Today I listened to an lecture titled "Why Be Jewish" (click for mp3) given by Rabbi Dovid Orlofsky. I found the speech at SimpleToRemember.com. The site doesn't say when the lecture was given but it is certainly relevant today.

I'm no fan of Orlofsky but I found the following quotes interesting (skip to 43:13).

The previous generation's reason for being Jewish:

"If you ask somebody why you Jewish they will give you the answer... because my parents were Jewish, and their parents were Jewish, and their parents were Jewish."

What if you question the validity Judaism:

"Either it's real and it's the best way to live, otherwise...y'know, ditch it, ditch it tomorrow."
[LNM: I feel this way about Halacha all the time.]

On selling Judaism to the next generation:

"These kids are either going to have a good reason to be Jewish or they're not going to do it... When your kids come to you and say 'Mom, Dad, why be Jewish?' its going to have to be something better than dreidel, dreidel, dreidel."

I couldn't agree more.

Petition Against Jiwhad in Bet Shemesh

It appears that the community in Bet Shamesh is taking action to stop the Jewish religious violence. The "Action Committee Against Violence in Beit Shemesh" has started a petition against the religious based violence occurring in Israel. Here is a quote from their website:

The Action Committee has prepared a petition against the violence and intimidation, with the help of many people, including Chareidim from Ramat Bet Shemesh Bet who are against the violence and intimidation. Our aim has been to develop a petition phrased in such a way as to condemn the violence and intimidation categorically, while also using Hebrew phraseology acceptable to even the most halachically meticulous in the Chareidi community.

I think the smartest part of their strategy is covered in the line "using Hebrew phraseology acceptable to even the most halachically meticulous in the Chareidi community."

All attacks by religious fundamentalist must be stopped. I hope they are successful in their endeavor.

Link to the petition at Shemesh.co.il:
http://www.shemesh.co.il/pet_against_violence.html

Breaking Shabbos as a Family

This past Shabbos my wife noticed that she left her alarm clock set to go off. I was reminded of a similar situation from this past Rosh HaShana. She asked me what we could do about it. I thought to myself "I'll turn it off for you" but I said nothing. She said maybe she'll have the baby turn it off when he wakes up. We've used the baby to adjust the thermostat (electric, push-button) in the past. It's debatable if using the baby to break Shabbos is kosher. When I woke up in the morning the alarm was turned off. I didn't ask her how it got that way.

I think the idea of having the baby turn it off is a mixture of two concepts: 1) minors are not bound to follow religious law; and 2) the concept of shinui. In brief, shinui is a leniency that allows one to violate a Rabbinic law for the sake of an ill person if the prohibition if is done in a way different from normal. For example, you might turn off a light in a sick person's room by slapping it with the back of your hand. I get the impression that holding the baby's hand and using it to flick off a light simply for personal preference is not OK.

After Shabbos lunch the wife started folding the baby's laundry. The unfolded laundry sitting in the basket was clearly bothering her. As she was folding the clothing she kept saying things like "I really shouldn't be doing this, right?" I said nothing. I don't want to lecture her about halacha regardless of my personal feelings. Then of course my personal feelings are "Who cares?!" She also knows that I don't believe in the whole system so I try not to say anything in favor of or against halacha.

Later, I took using the baby as an excuse one step further. When she had gone to the restroom I adjusted the thermostat on my own. When she came back I told her that I had the baby turn it up. It had gotten cold and I was going to adjust it anyway but the baby offered an easy out. In the past I've taken the baby in the other room and just adjusted it myself. If it gives her peace of mind the lying can't be that bad.

That's what I tell myself anyway.

Five somewhat interesting things about me that you will not read in my stupid Frumster profile:

WebGirl tagged me with the question "List five somewhat interesting things about you that I will not read in your stupid Frumster profile." Of course I don't have a Frumster profile... anymore. That was deactivated before I got married. So in short, this is what you won't see on my non-existent Frumster profile.

This is a tricky game. You want to be revealing without giving TMI. Let's take a stab.

1. Alcohol is the only drug I've every tried. No marijuana or cigarettes.

2. I watch NASCAR... and enjoy it! (#24 all the way.)

3. I'm prone to shocking myself when installing light switches. Even when I shut off the power. At some point I turn the juice back on and get zapped. :(

4. I like some scary movies (Exorcist, Psycho, Scream) but I avoid hardcore gory movies like the plague. (SAW, Hostel, even Freddy and Jason.) I won't be caught dead watching those. Dismemberment terrifies me.

5. (I'll wrap up on a happy note.) I love listening to baseball on the radio. You can actually imagine all the plays as they are described (unlike basketball or football). If the commentators are great it's better than TV!

How about you?
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Update: Holy Hyrax told me that I have to tag other people so here's my list:

I tag Holy Hyrax (you've brought this upon yourself), Littlefoxling and Miri.
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Update #2:

Here are the responses!

Holy Hyrax
http://serandez.blogspot.com/2007/11/frumster-meme.html

Miri
http://spoonicus19.blogspot.com/2007/11/i-finally-got-tagged.html

Littlefoxling
http://littlefoxling.blogspot.com/2007/11/frumster.html

Mishichistim: Can They Be Changed?

Earlier this week I talked about the current messianic state of Chabad-Lubavitch and how I hold The Rebbe accountable. Prior to the 1994 death of The Rebbe, the charismatic leader of the Hasidic sect Chabad-Lubavitch, many members of the movement believed he was the not-yet-revealed long-awaited messiah. For many, his death didn't change a thing. These people are known as "Mishichists." If he was the messiah when he was alive he could still be the messiah now. A little thing like death never stopped God before.

What percentage of Chabad believes The Rebbe is coming back is unclear. Exactly, what people believe is also up for debate. I have heard people say "he never died." Others say "he died, but only in body," and that "his soul is still here with us." Some I've spoken with simply say "I don't know what happened that day but all I know is The Rebbe would never leave us." The one thing they all have in common is that they can't let go.

It makes me a little sad. Chabad was so vibrant, evolving and growing when The Rebbe was alive. It is bigger in numbers now, but the sect doesn't really change focus. The movement just seems to do what it always did. Back in its heyday, The Rebbe could give an order today and tomorrow you would find yourself asking strangers to try a Jewish ritual in the back of a Winnebago.

But I digress.

After all the years of hanging on The Rebbe's every word, and then years of believing he was the unrevealed-Moshiach I am convinced that you can not change these people's minds. People only change if they want to change. All kidding aside, I honestly think it would take a order from The Rebbe, in person, to abuse them of the notion that he will rise from the grave. (A tape of The Rebbe saying as much at a previous event wouldn't do. It would be too easy to explain away.)

I don't think the attitudes of the mishichistim can be changed from within. After all, they have faith.

What Do Skeptic Orthoprax Parents Teach Their Kids?

What do Orthoprax parents teach their kids? As things in my life stand right now serial Orthopraxy seems to be the path I'm on. That's my problem but, what does that mean for my kid?

I don't want to lie to him. I definitely will not teach him to think that every story in the Torah is true. I find there is value in asking what the stories in the Torah teach us. But that only gets you so far. There is much in the Torah that doesn't necessarily have a deeper meaning, and worse, I outright disagree with some of the values the Torah teaches.

I feel the Torah as it is interpreted by MO isn't a terrible thing to base your life on. Let me say that again, as interpreted by MO Judaism. However, I will not flat out lie to my kid and say it is from god, and it is perfect, and it is true, because it isn't.

I hope that if I give him the tools to think analytically he will see the truth for himself. No doubt I will also unintentionally send all kinds of subtle, and not so subtle, messages that let him know I think Torah is a bunch of hooey.

Of course, if he does goes OTD it would probably break his mother's heart, and it would probably be because of me. So, I'm screwed no matter how you cut it. Unless she joins me on the dark side. Heh. Yeah, right. Now there's some wishful thinking.

Orthoprax parents, what do you teach your kids?